The Good Life
by Aecoris
Summary: DeafDean verse. Dean keeps acting weird, stopping the Impala just to stare out the window. Sam doesn't understand and is upset that Dean isn't telling him what's wrong. Little does he know, that there's nothing wrong with Dean at all...just the opposite.


_This is the next story in my deaf Dean verse. You don't need to read the other stories to understand it. Just know that Dean lost his hearing while he was on a hunt alone, Sam's hunting with him now after Jess's death and the brothers are closer and understand each other better than ever before. _

_I originally had another story that was supposed to come first. It's half finished but then I got the idea from this story while I was falling asleep the other day and I had to write it down. For for now you get this one, the other one should be up soon. :) The whole idea I got from this story was inspired by a location I found in Google Maps. lol I'll have the link up on my main page if you're interested._

_Thanks as always to Gabi for beta'ing this and looking it over and for the kind words. :)_

_Summary: Dean keeps acting weird, stopping the Impala just to stare out the window. Sam doesn't understand and is upset that Dean isn't telling him what's wrong. Little does he know, that there's nothing wrong with Dean at all...just the opposite._

_Title based on One Republic's "Good Life". It's a really neat and good-hearted song, describes this fic **exactly.**_

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Sometimes when Dean was driving on their way to their next hunt he would stop. Randomly.

Sam would give him a strange look but Dean would just turn and look out the window. Assuming he was upset and brooding (Sam won't admit it but he knows he broods a lot and he does so mostly while staring out the window) Sam would tap Dean's shoulder and sign to him, asking if he's alright.

Dean would smile a small smile and would get this faraway look in his eyes, like he's someplace else. But it was never the depressed look Sam expected to see. Dean's smile was a little sad but it almost seemed hopeful, thoughtful. And then Dean would always turn back, stare out the window for a few minutes taking deep breaths and then start up the car again.

Sam didn't understand it. And as the weather got warmer it happened more and more. Dean would roll down the window and stick his head out and his smile would get bigger each time.

Sam loved it and hated it at the same time. He liked when those moments would happen because somehow, Dean seemed totally at peace and relaxed. But he hated it because no matter how many strange looks Sam gave him or how many times he would ask Dean 'what was that about?' Dean wouldn't tell him. He'd always smile and look away. Like Sam couldn't possibly understand, like it was something only Dean could know about.

They were brothers for goodness sake. They know each other more than they know themselves...and really they've been getting closer and closer since Dean's accident. Sam really thought that there was nothing in the world they couldn't tell each other anymore. No more secrets, no more hiding, no more running away, just the truth. Apparently Dean didn't feel the same way.

Then one day something different happened. Sam was driving down a highway in Alberta, in the middle of nowhere somewhere between Edmonton and Calgary. They were coming back from a hunt in a small Canadian town that had made big news from all the mysterious deaths and it was a beautiful and surprisingly warm late spring day. Sam had thought Dean was snoozing in the passenger seat.

"Sam, stop the car!"

Sam startled and jumped in his seat. Dean's voice was urgent, and it was with fear and concern that Sam quickly pulled to the shoulder of the road. There were only two things that could possibly be going on here.

**1.** _Something was wrong with Dean. He was feeling sick, he lied and was hurt on the hunt or he was having a bout of vertigo. Or he had just woken from a nightmare._

**2.** _Dean had seen something wrong. A person in danger or a monster, ghost, wendigo, flying pig, something. Something dangerous._

For whatever reason, the first option worried Sam more, had his heart twisting in a painful way. Maybe that made him messed up; maybe that meant something was wrong with him. But he really didn't give a crap and besides, they were hunters and hunters are automatically freaks for life.

Sam turned towards Dean so fast he swore he gave himself whiplash.

"What? What's wrong Dean? Are you hurt? What is it?" Sam was speaking and signing frantically at the same time, so worried that he didn't even realize Dean wasn't looking. He was still staring out the window and Sam noticed that peaceful feeling again, practically radiating off of Dean.

Suddenly Sam was furious he jabbed Dean in the shoulder, tried to turn him around to look at him but Dean just shrugged Sam off.

"What the hell Dean?" Sam was yelling, not caring that Dean couldn't hear, he was just so fed up. "Do you mind ever telling me what you're up to? What your sudden revelation moments are? What is so important that you have to keep it from me? Do you enjoy acting strange just to piss me off?"

Dean rolled down the window and Sam saw him close his eyes, take a deep breath.

And then he got out of the car.

What. The. Hell.

Dean closed the passenger door and took off his jacket, throwing it through the open window without a second glance. Sam watched as he started walking slowly out into the field they had parked by. Sam hadn't even realized they were driving past a field, all the scenery had seemed to blur...

Dean had stopped walking and was just standing there about five feet into the field. He looked so small standing there, so alone and it was that thought that had Sam getting out and jogging over to join his brother. When he did he saw that Dean's eyes were closed and Sam almost turned away right then, not wanting to disturb whatever was going on in his brother's mind.

"It's beautiful isn't it Sammy?"

Again, Sam jumped at the sound of his brother's voice. His eyes remained closed and Sam thought there was no way Dean would have known Sam had joined him. Apparently he was wrong. They can read each other just by reading the emotions playing across their faces, so why not be able to know the other is near just by feel alone?

"Yeah." Sam answered, still bewildered and confused. Dean opened his eyes then and looked at Sam, green eyes shining, and then stared out in front of him. Sam saw something in those eyes, something that he wanted to understand and he followed Dean's gaze without realizing it, without meaning to.

He couldn't help but gasp. It was like he was actually seeing the world around him for the first time, what the drive through day after day without giving a second thought.

In front of him was a huge, wide open field. Nothing was obstructing the sea of green sprinkled with thousands of dots of yellow dandelions. Not a single tractor, house or debris. It was perfect, like the earth was meant to be, untouched. It stretched far from right to left and directly in front of them it looked like there were miles of field. Far in the distance Sam could just make out the scatters of trees and a few rolling hills. He couldn't help but look up and see the sky a beautiful spring-blue scattered with the lightest white clouds, so thin they looked like they seemed like they could be transparent if you didn't look too hard.

Sam slowly turned around and past the road there was a thin line of trees, the mid-morning sun squinting its way through them, leaving big shadows that reminded Sam of summer afternoons spent under the shade. Behind the trees was another field, but it looked dull, dried and flat. Probably a farmer's field he was working on and Sam couldn't help but feel that field was just plain wrong, so he turned around quickly to the scene of perfection in front of him.

"It is beautiful." Sam said, his voice quiet as if he was actually in on some big secret. Something only he and Dean understood. Something no one else can know about, something that's just theirs. "It's amazing."

He was so caught up with trying to take everything in that he didn't even realize that Dean couldn't hear him. His cheeks turned red and he turned to face Dean to sign to him only to realize that Dean was staring at him, for how long Sam didn't know and it made him blush even more.

But Dean grinned and Sam knew that Dean did understand him, whether he had been able to read Sam's lips at that point or not. Still Sam signed the motion for 'amazing' and Dean nodded, turning back to the field.

And then he was running. Not just running but...his arms were flailing out, carefree and he was laughing. He was running like there was nowhere to be, running for the fun of it, to just simply run, not from a creature or for training or anything. Dean turned around and continued to run backwards, looking at Sam. And the thought was so tempting that Sam couldn't resist and he sprinted after Dean, causing his brother to let out a delightful yelp and turn around, running faster.

Sam easily caught up to his brother and used his long legs to his advantage. He couldn't explain exactly why he wanted to run as fast as he could. He didn't want to beat Dean, this wasn't a race, he could feel that it wasn't. He just...wanted to use as much energy up as he could, he didn't want to waste this moment, this _place._

Dean caught up to Sam and his laughter had grown louder. It was a different laugh than Sam had ever heard from his brother. It wasn't the carefully controlled burst of laughter or the loud obnoxious never-ending kind that he did to annoy Sam. It was just simply...Dean _laughing_, Dean laughing without caring how he sounded because he couldn't hear it. Dean was laughing because he was truly happy, laughing maybe without even realizing it and Sam found himself wishing that he could laugh like that.

He wanted to take this in. He felt like he was flying, like there wasn't a care in the world and it felt amazing. He never wanted this moment to end.

But even though they were hunters, they still were people after all and exhaustion was creeping in on the both of them. Sam felt himself slowing not wanting to stop but too tired to keep going. He took a few more steps before he let himself drop, body falling to the ground in a satisfied heap. He laughed again, taking in the smell of earth and noticing how it smelt lightly of water, it must have rained not that long ago. Maybe a few days.

Sam heard Dean fall next to him about two feet away, panting loudly and Sam rolled onto his back and turned his head to look at his brother. Dean looked to be having just as much fun as Sam, maybe even more. Looking away from Dean, Sam turned back to the sky. It was actually comfortable lying here in the grass and earth, there was a very nice breeze but it was still unseasonably warm, Sam had dumped his jacket five minutes ago when they were running, leaving it somewhere in the grass and he was still warm. But still, everything was perfect he felt like he just realized something important about life but was unsure what that was. Never had he realized how beautiful the world could be, how amazing _life_ could be.

And now Sam understood why Dean had kept silent during his random car stops. The reason Dean didn't tell him wasn't because it was a secret, or because Sam would never understand. It was just one of those things you can't say in words...or with your hands.

It was something you feel.

Still Dean spoke.

"I've wanted to do that for a while now."

This is what Dean had been doing all the time in the car. He had been taking all this in, everything around him and didn't want to waste it. When he saw something that made him breathless he wanted to take in the moment, let it sink in.

How could Sam be so stupid not to see that?

Even though he asked himself that he knew why. Why Dean saw that and he didn't...or couldn't. Dean lost his hearing; he lost a huge sense, something that takes up so much of your time. He had so much more time, more attention to spend to other things; things that should really be taken into account now and then, the little things in life. He had more time to think about it and because of that, he had acted on it. He had the thought and courage to run into that field and make a memory.

And Sam knew better than to feel bad that Dean couldn't hear the wind blowing or the birds chirping or the grass rustling. With a scene this real and spectacular, he could feel it; he could feel everything he couldn't hear. The sights and colors and smell and atmosphere made up for that. That's what makes some place like this so special.

The whole time Dean had been deaf Sam had been worried about how Dean would adapt. If he would open up and not let losing his hearing bring him down so low, he couldn't get back up. If Dean would keep that mask in place he struggled to build over his lifetime. If Dean could accept himself for who he is.

Now he could see that Dean had let go of that mask, maybe even a long time ago. Dean was living his life and being himself for the first time in probably forever. He was learning to live differently but still love life, still make the best of it and try not to let little moments pass him by. He was the most confident and proud and together that Sam had ever seen him.

Now it was Sam's turn to let go. He'd always looked up to Dean his whole life, and now was no exception. It was time to let go of the worry about Dean, the fact that his speech was slowly getting a little worse, the fear that each day they might not get out of a hunt alive, about where their lives were headed. Just let go, take one day at a time and relax, be happy.

It was time to live.

"Oh, and by the way Sam, you totally run like a little girl frolicking through the flowers."

Sam laughed; man...he loved his life.


End file.
